writing pains

[dream_labyrinth]

I suppose a writer's block is nothing completely unusual. I have had times when I wasn't inspired at all.
The thing to do then would be not to write.
I did, anyway.
I wrote a story and it ended up pretty uninspired and pointless.
What was interesting about it is that it actually has made me sick to think about it, and I can't stop thinking about it. And I mean sick. I am a little dizzy, and I didn't feel like eating anything today, and there's a lump in my throat.
I'd never imagine that something like a story could affect me so, not the contents but the quality of the story.
I got some very nice comments from readers, but that doesn't really make me feel a whole lot better. Because I think I could have done better. I failed myself, my own goals and my expectations in myself.
I was trying hard to decide whether or not I should just go ahead and delete the story and pretend i never happened, but that doesn't seem honest.
So I have left it, and keep it in the back of my mind as a "warning".
I wrote it to kill time, and so it is a story to kill time "for those who like it better dead". And I don't even remember who said that, I just know it was said about a book.

Comments

[scatteredlogic.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. Everybody writes things that don't showcase their best work. That's just part and parcel of being a writer, I think. However, every bit of writing is a learning experience. I've got one story out there that just absolutely sucks. It isn't just bad, it's awful. Overblown and over dramatic lol But I learned a lot from that story and so it stays posted. (Although, I will admit that it's posted under a different pen name.)

And, geez, you should see some of the crap that's on my hard drive. LOL But I keep it there and tinker with it from time to time and, occasionally, something better comes from it.

I think that anyone who creates something will always see its flaws rather than its potential, but please don't let this make you sick. If you're not satisfied with it, re-work it. That's the beauty of writing - you can keep working on it until you get it the way that you want it.

And - as a bit of perspective - someone that I consider to be an excellent writer recently removed the majority of her fics from the internet because she was unhappy with them. But I thought they were wonderful and I'm sad that they've been removed.

[dream-labyrinth.livejournal.com]

But I learned a lot from that story and so it stays posted.
That's kind of what I figured, and why I didn't delete the story.
I am definitely going to re-work it, because I think the basic idea I had has some potential, and I wouldn't like to give it up just because my first try wasn't very good.
Interestingly, once I wrote this entry, telling the trouble I had with the story, I felt better.
I have always had a hard time to admit that I'm not perfect in something I do, so that was a new experience. But it made me feel better because then the story did have a positive effect, to just make it easier for me to deal with critizism, from myself and others.
I think you're right, we are much harder in judging our own works than other people are. But that can keep us trying harder, which is a good thing.

[queen-crabapple.livejournal.com]

One of my books on writing says, "You have to be willing to write badly." It's true. It's one thing to be honest with yourself and admit that it's not your best work, but it's quite another to make yourself sick over it. Bad writing happens to everyone who tries to write. What's important is that you tried, and you learned something from the process.

[dream-labyrinth.livejournal.com]

Thank you.
I think what made me sick was the time between realizing that the story was bad and admitting it to myself and (through LJ) to everybody who knows I'm writing at all.
But you are right, I tried and I learnt, and that's what counts.

hnmm

[dearlady.livejournal.com]

well, if you hate the story overall, just leave it alone for a while. a few days, a few weeks, however long it will take before you start to lose the details of it and can kinda look at it with a new eye.

since you wrote it, im guessing you liked the idea originally, even if you think it turned out bad, so take a new look at it and consider what you ahve as a rough draft. take the time, and re-write it as you go. if you dont like certain parts, take them out completely. add as you go. taht sort of thing.

it's something i always do with my stories. after they're finished (and usually already posted somewhere, oops), i'll go back and look at them and fix or rewrite parts i dont like. it helps me catch poorly-worded sentances, or just parts of the story where it seems to lag.

hope that might help. :-)
andrea

Re: hnmm

[dream-labyrinth.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yes, that is helpful.
It tells me that I'm not the only one who posts stories and realizes afterwards they should have some more work done to them. *g*
And it also gives me something to work with.
You'er right, I did like the original idea. It just didn't work for a thirty-minute-fiction. So I first have to get some distance to it and then work with what I have. Right now, I don't feel like re-reading any of it, so that's going to have to wait, though. ;-)

Re: hnmm

[dearlady.livejournal.com]

dear, *everyone*, at least one time in their life, writes something they dont like. anyone who tells you otherwise is lying, or is so conceited that they think their work is perfect.
but do try it. leave it for a few months. come back to it.
they tell us the same thing while painting. if you sit less than a foot away from something and look at it for hours on end, days at a time, it looks different than it would from a few feet away. take the time to stop every once in a while, back up, and look at it.
and good luck. :-)

Re: hnmm

[dream-labyrinth.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'll most likely post about it when I get back to working on it.
Thanks for being so helpful and nice with my bad moods and sulking. *hugs*
:-)