A little joke I remembered

[dream_labyrinth]

Right in the middle of this large forest, there lives an old woman with her cat. One day she meets a young woman, very beautiful but apparently lost in the woods, and helps her to find the way out. The young woman turns out to be a fairy and grants her three wishes. The old woman thinks for a moment, then says:
"First, I want my house to be transformed into a palace."
"Done." the fairy says.
"Then, I want to be a beautiful young princess."
The fairy waves her wand and the woman transforms into a princess.
"And lastly, I want my cat to become a beautiful prince, I am tired of living alone."
Again the fairy waves her wand. "Done.". she says and leaves.
So the new princess goes home and really, her house is gone and instead she sees a beautiful palace, all gold and marble. And on the marble stairs there stands a handsome young prince. He comes down to her, hugs her tightly and say: "Well, I suppose now you are sorry you had me castrated last week."

Comments

[wolflady26.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time, the Dwarven king fell in love with an Elvish maid. Now, she wasn't interested in marrying the king and spending the rest of her life underground, but she didn't want to insult him and turn him against the Elves. So she told him she would marry him, on three conditions.

'Yes, yes,' said the king. 'Tell me what you want'.

The maid explained that if she were to marry a king, she must be the most beautiful woman in the world on her wedding day. Therefore, she would need a diamond tiara, a diamond necklace, and diamond earrings, each with at least 100 karats.

The king paused and whispered to one of his advisors for a moment. Then he smiled at the maid and said, 'OK, I buy, I buy'.

The maid swallowed, then said that she wanted to be housed according to her rank. So she would like two new palaces, one built entirely out of silver, the other entirely of gold.

Again, the king whispered to his counselors. It took longer this time, but eventually the king said, 'OK, I build, I build.'

The maid knew that she only had once chance left to get out of the marriage, so she looked down at the short, stocky king and said that, in order to be sure she would have strong children, she would only marry a man whose penis was 18 inches long.

The king looked completely shocked. His counselors gathered around, and they whispered together for a long time.

Finally, the king looked at the maid and said, 'OK, I cut, I cut.'

[dream-labyrinth.livejournal.com]

*LOL*
I absolutely LOVE that one! I'll need to remember it.

[wolflady26.livejournal.com]

:D I don't have many jokes, but that's definitely one of my favorites :)

[dream-labyrinth.livejournal.com]

If you are a Republican and/or like Bush, please change the name in that one, but it is one of my favorites:
A plane is about to crash. On board are 5 passengers, but only 4 parachutes. The first says "I'm Shaquille O'Neil. I'm the best basketball player ever. NBA can't exist without me. I can't die." He takes one of the parachutes and jumps. The second person is Hillary Clinton. "I can't die. My husband has been American president, I'm senator and maybe will president myself one day." Takes a pack and jumps. The third person is George W. Bush. "I need to survive. I'm the American president. I am the most powerful man in the world right now. Only I can keep the peace on earth. Plus, I'm the most intelligent president America ever had." He takes a pack and jumps. The fourth person is the pope. He says to the fifth, a little boy, "My son, I am old. You are young, you have all your life to live. Take the last parachute, and when you land safely, say a prayer for my soul. I'll go to heaven." The boy shakes his head. "Not necessary. There are parachutes for the both of us. America's smartest president just jumped out with my backpack."