Break from cleaning
Sep. 20th, 2004 01:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dream_labyrinthMy room is a mess. But it's a different mess than this morning.
I've stashed my notes from 4 years of university in one corner, making room on the shelf for books I used to have on my desk and for the files I didn't need before.
Like insurance. Gah! I need to get my own health insurance and just general "oops I broke something" insurance, and some way of saving money for retirement. (To think about retirement at 22... But it's necessary, because the government isn't going to do it for me like they did for generations before me.)
Then I cleaned more stuff off my desk, cleaned the small table next to the couch, put the laundry away and generally rearranged my collection of memorabilia. Gifts I got from family members from vacation. They always give me things to set up in my room. Small scale model of Michelangelo's Piéta (my sister, from Rome), a Roman she-wolf with Romulus and Remus (my brother, from Rome), an icon showing St. Mary with a book (from Poland), a handpainted plate from my Grandma, that kind of thing. And I like every piece. But it is hard to find good places for all of them.
Anyway, my energy has left me now, so there still is a lot of stuff lying around I should pack away. I could just put the rest into the drawers of desk, but that would mean I have to clean the drawers soon. If I leave the stuff out on the floor, I will really clear them away after I tripped over something the third time, at the latest.
Unfortunately, I usually am very good at just walking around things on my floor. Even in the dark when I don't feel like swiching on a light. So I'm most likely to leave the room in this state until the next time I feel like cleaning.
I did practice the clarinet yesterday. So I'm not going to feel too bad tonight when I have my lesson.
Strange, I never had this puberty thing of hating your parents and slamming doors and stuff, but I had and still have, quick mood swings. I could be sad one minute, and then any event, listening to a song I like or seeing something funny, can make me happy. And it has been like that as long as I can remember. It seems as if my feelings don't reach that deep, it's all on the surface somehow.
To quote a line from a song (again)
There's such a fooled heart
Beating so fast in search of new dreams
A love that will last within your heart
It's not about somebody else loving me. The problem is me loving somebody or something, really being touched by something for longer than half an hour. Not the "out of sight out of mind" way I have right now, even though that is quite practical to get rid of unpleasant feelings.
I've stashed my notes from 4 years of university in one corner, making room on the shelf for books I used to have on my desk and for the files I didn't need before.
Like insurance. Gah! I need to get my own health insurance and just general "oops I broke something" insurance, and some way of saving money for retirement. (To think about retirement at 22... But it's necessary, because the government isn't going to do it for me like they did for generations before me.)
Then I cleaned more stuff off my desk, cleaned the small table next to the couch, put the laundry away and generally rearranged my collection of memorabilia. Gifts I got from family members from vacation. They always give me things to set up in my room. Small scale model of Michelangelo's Piéta (my sister, from Rome), a Roman she-wolf with Romulus and Remus (my brother, from Rome), an icon showing St. Mary with a book (from Poland), a handpainted plate from my Grandma, that kind of thing. And I like every piece. But it is hard to find good places for all of them.
Anyway, my energy has left me now, so there still is a lot of stuff lying around I should pack away. I could just put the rest into the drawers of desk, but that would mean I have to clean the drawers soon. If I leave the stuff out on the floor, I will really clear them away after I tripped over something the third time, at the latest.
Unfortunately, I usually am very good at just walking around things on my floor. Even in the dark when I don't feel like swiching on a light. So I'm most likely to leave the room in this state until the next time I feel like cleaning.
I did practice the clarinet yesterday. So I'm not going to feel too bad tonight when I have my lesson.
Strange, I never had this puberty thing of hating your parents and slamming doors and stuff, but I had and still have, quick mood swings. I could be sad one minute, and then any event, listening to a song I like or seeing something funny, can make me happy. And it has been like that as long as I can remember. It seems as if my feelings don't reach that deep, it's all on the surface somehow.
To quote a line from a song (again)
There's such a fooled heart
Beating so fast in search of new dreams
A love that will last within your heart
It's not about somebody else loving me. The problem is me loving somebody or something, really being touched by something for longer than half an hour. Not the "out of sight out of mind" way I have right now, even though that is quite practical to get rid of unpleasant feelings.
