I feel like a teenager
Aug. 10th, 2004 05:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dream_labyrinthI got a call from a dear friend yesterday. He told me about a little barbeque/salad (more salad than BBQ, as we don't have a grill) party a friend from university is hosting. Apparently, it's open for everybody. My friend's been invited, I haven't.
Easy solution: I live in another town, so maybe the person who organized the party, S., figured I couldn't come.
BUT: another student, J. - who is kind of my favorite enemy - living in the same town has been invited.
This smells like teenage clique type of problems.
Both my friend and I like to cause trouble, so he called me to invite me, and I will show up with him at the event. Just for the fun of seeing the kids' faces. It might be all coincidence, no insult intended or anything. S. is really nice and not at all the kind of person who'd do this kind of thing.
J. would, though. So maybe she was supposed to tell me, and didn't. Usually she wants me to drive her, as she doesn't have a car and I do, but she didn't call me to ask. Which looks as if she knows I'm not invited, being responsible for it or not.
I feel like a tenth-grader again with these games.
***
I went to the public swimming pool again today, my brother inviting me. He just came back from a triathlon this weekend but fears he might not do enough training while he's on vacation with us, so he went swimming today.
Anyway, I kept some kid from stealing my brother's board (a little nifty, floating board he uses if he wants to work on only arms or only legs to keep floating in the water). The kid took it just when I was reaching that end of the pool, so I just yelled at him to drop it and he did.Made me feel good. I love to yell at kids.
This place has diving platforms for three, five, seven and ten metres. I climbed up to jump from the three metres, usually I don't dare to go any higher up. Reaching the platform, I found out why nobody else was jumping from there. It was closed. So I could either go back down and look like a sissy or go higher up. I chose higher. I stood around on the platform, five metres above the water. I dried almost completely, watching kids half my size take a run-up and jump. I saw people fly by who had jumped from even greater heights. Darn it, I was scared. But I have that personal rule never to go back down the stairs. If I went up there, the only way down is jump.
So I did, eventually. Probably not very gracefully, but who cares, really. I had some problems with my ears afterwards, one hurting really bad. So I don't think I'll ever do that again. But now I can say I did it, and if I ever come into the situation where I have to do this, I know that it is possible. I feel about this similar as about running a marathon. It might be a rather stupid thing to do (with the marathon, it's not as if you are doing anything at the end of running 42 kilometres, like going shopping or sightseeing or something), but it is a way of proving that my mind rules the body, not vice versa. It made me feel strong and brave and successful to jump down there, beating my fear.
One day I will run a marathon. Just to see that I can.
***
I have been cleaning out my CD shelves, being inspired by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chickbrarian. Now I'm listening to some CDs I haven't played in years. I have also found some I'm going to try to get rid of and make money out of them, to buy other CDs. My taste in music has changed and I feel my CD rack should show that.
Easy solution: I live in another town, so maybe the person who organized the party, S., figured I couldn't come.
BUT: another student, J. - who is kind of my favorite enemy - living in the same town has been invited.
This smells like teenage clique type of problems.
Both my friend and I like to cause trouble, so he called me to invite me, and I will show up with him at the event. Just for the fun of seeing the kids' faces. It might be all coincidence, no insult intended or anything. S. is really nice and not at all the kind of person who'd do this kind of thing.
J. would, though. So maybe she was supposed to tell me, and didn't. Usually she wants me to drive her, as she doesn't have a car and I do, but she didn't call me to ask. Which looks as if she knows I'm not invited, being responsible for it or not.
I feel like a tenth-grader again with these games.
***
I went to the public swimming pool again today, my brother inviting me. He just came back from a triathlon this weekend but fears he might not do enough training while he's on vacation with us, so he went swimming today.
Anyway, I kept some kid from stealing my brother's board (a little nifty, floating board he uses if he wants to work on only arms or only legs to keep floating in the water). The kid took it just when I was reaching that end of the pool, so I just yelled at him to drop it and he did.Made me feel good. I love to yell at kids.
This place has diving platforms for three, five, seven and ten metres. I climbed up to jump from the three metres, usually I don't dare to go any higher up. Reaching the platform, I found out why nobody else was jumping from there. It was closed. So I could either go back down and look like a sissy or go higher up. I chose higher. I stood around on the platform, five metres above the water. I dried almost completely, watching kids half my size take a run-up and jump. I saw people fly by who had jumped from even greater heights. Darn it, I was scared. But I have that personal rule never to go back down the stairs. If I went up there, the only way down is jump.
So I did, eventually. Probably not very gracefully, but who cares, really. I had some problems with my ears afterwards, one hurting really bad. So I don't think I'll ever do that again. But now I can say I did it, and if I ever come into the situation where I have to do this, I know that it is possible. I feel about this similar as about running a marathon. It might be a rather stupid thing to do (with the marathon, it's not as if you are doing anything at the end of running 42 kilometres, like going shopping or sightseeing or something), but it is a way of proving that my mind rules the body, not vice versa. It made me feel strong and brave and successful to jump down there, beating my fear.
One day I will run a marathon. Just to see that I can.
***
I have been cleaning out my CD shelves, being inspired by
chickbrarian. Now I'm listening to some CDs I haven't played in years. I have also found some I'm going to try to get rid of and make money out of them, to buy other CDs. My taste in music has changed and I feel my CD rack should show that.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 08:35 am (UTC)Thank you very much.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 10:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 01:29 pm (UTC)And thank you. I felt really good after the jump. And after the pain in my ear was gone...
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 02:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-11 03:28 am (UTC)