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uhm...okaaaayyy?
So here's the source of this idea: Date to save. I thought I was dating guys to have fun, but apparently I'm not. Or I shouldn't. Should I ask them whether they worship Satan and only date guys I can convert to the Only Way?
Okay girls. And I am only talking to the Hot Christian Girls out there, mind you.
Here are the rules:
10 Christian Dating Tips for Effective Missionary Dating
1. If he tells your that you are hot...
Tell him God made you hot.
2. If he wants to hold your hand...
Give him a Bible.
3. If he tries to get closer...
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.
4. If he asks to pay for dinner...
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!
5. If he reaches his arm around you...
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)
6. If he tries to kiss you...
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")
7. If he asks to come inside...
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.
8. If he tells you he loves you...
Tell him that Jesus loves him.
9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."
10. After you dump him...
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.
And then, of course, there's the He dumped me, I hate him, don't date him-Site.
Okay, it might be a good idea, but I am sure it'd just turn out to be a way to get back on the guy who left you.
Totally unrelated, I was watching an episode of one of the new favorites of single unemployed women, the telenovela. Apparently, we don't have soap operas anymore. The good thing about telenovelas is that there is going to be an end to the torture and waste of TV time.
Now, I have watched maybe two episodes of this show. One of the very first to know what it is, and then this one a few days ago.
What is it about?
We have the Ugly Duckling (TM), a smart, not very attractive young woman with little self confidence but the potential to be transformed into Beautiful Swan as soon as the writers decide she can get rid of her braces and miraculously her eyes will get better while she loses weight, therefore eliminating the need for thick glasses.
She falls in love at first sight with Prince Charming (TM). The sort of man girls in soap operas - I'm sorry, girls in telenovelas always fall in love with, the sort of person I wouldn't want to be caught dead with. Boring, soppy, no ass (mentally and physically). He is of course in the clutches of Well-Meaning Barbie (TM) who will develop either into Evil Barbie (TM) or Best Friend of Ugly Duckling (TM) as the story continues.
Prince Charming is also in big trouble, and only Ugly Duckling can save him. For which he is thankful, but doesn't see her true potential.
Good thing there is Token Gay Person (TM), who will tell Ugly Duckling just what she needs to do to make Prince Charming fall in love with her.
At the same time, Evil Git (TM), as the writers are very original the brother of Prince Charming, sees the potential of Ugly Duckling. He tries to convert her to his evil ways but fails, so with the help of Evil Barbie (TM) - not a development of Well-Meaning Barie, but evil from the outset - he tries to poison her to either ridicule her or kill her, or both.
Of course, as she has at that point saved both Prince Charming's life and his business, he will slowly come to realise that he loves only her. This will happen before the change to Beautiful Swan have taken effect, because we don't want our audience to think looks are everything, do we?
Beautiful Swan will appear as an added bonus for Prince Charming after he's stood steadfast at her side whenever there was nothing else to do or she could be of use.
In the end, Well-Meaning Barbie (provided she did not turn into Evil Barbie), Token Gay Person and Best Mate of Ugly Duckling (who is secretly in love with her but steps back to not be in the way of her happiness) will see Prince Charming and Beautiful Swan live happily ever after, while Evil Git and Evil Barbie will be punished for their evil deeds and the group of Pointless Sidekicks to Make the Show Run Longer will get satisfaction for their wrongs and smaller punishments for their bad deeds.
Well, it takes only a few paragraphs. Surprising they make not only one but several shows out of it.
So here's the source of this idea: Date to save. I thought I was dating guys to have fun, but apparently I'm not. Or I shouldn't. Should I ask them whether they worship Satan and only date guys I can convert to the Only Way?
Okay girls. And I am only talking to the Hot Christian Girls out there, mind you.
Here are the rules:
10 Christian Dating Tips for Effective Missionary Dating
1. If he tells your that you are hot...
Tell him God made you hot.
2. If he wants to hold your hand...
Give him a Bible.
3. If he tries to get closer...
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.
4. If he asks to pay for dinner...
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!
5. If he reaches his arm around you...
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)
6. If he tries to kiss you...
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")
7. If he asks to come inside...
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.
8. If he tells you he loves you...
Tell him that Jesus loves him.
9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."
10. After you dump him...
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.
And then, of course, there's the He dumped me, I hate him, don't date him-Site.
Okay, it might be a good idea, but I am sure it'd just turn out to be a way to get back on the guy who left you.
Totally unrelated, I was watching an episode of one of the new favorites of single unemployed women, the telenovela. Apparently, we don't have soap operas anymore. The good thing about telenovelas is that there is going to be an end to the torture and waste of TV time.
Now, I have watched maybe two episodes of this show. One of the very first to know what it is, and then this one a few days ago.
What is it about?
We have the Ugly Duckling (TM), a smart, not very attractive young woman with little self confidence but the potential to be transformed into Beautiful Swan as soon as the writers decide she can get rid of her braces and miraculously her eyes will get better while she loses weight, therefore eliminating the need for thick glasses.
She falls in love at first sight with Prince Charming (TM). The sort of man girls in soap operas - I'm sorry, girls in telenovelas always fall in love with, the sort of person I wouldn't want to be caught dead with. Boring, soppy, no ass (mentally and physically). He is of course in the clutches of Well-Meaning Barbie (TM) who will develop either into Evil Barbie (TM) or Best Friend of Ugly Duckling (TM) as the story continues.
Prince Charming is also in big trouble, and only Ugly Duckling can save him. For which he is thankful, but doesn't see her true potential.
Good thing there is Token Gay Person (TM), who will tell Ugly Duckling just what she needs to do to make Prince Charming fall in love with her.
At the same time, Evil Git (TM), as the writers are very original the brother of Prince Charming, sees the potential of Ugly Duckling. He tries to convert her to his evil ways but fails, so with the help of Evil Barbie (TM) - not a development of Well-Meaning Barie, but evil from the outset - he tries to poison her to either ridicule her or kill her, or both.
Of course, as she has at that point saved both Prince Charming's life and his business, he will slowly come to realise that he loves only her. This will happen before the change to Beautiful Swan have taken effect, because we don't want our audience to think looks are everything, do we?
Beautiful Swan will appear as an added bonus for Prince Charming after he's stood steadfast at her side whenever there was nothing else to do or she could be of use.
In the end, Well-Meaning Barbie (provided she did not turn into Evil Barbie), Token Gay Person and Best Mate of Ugly Duckling (who is secretly in love with her but steps back to not be in the way of her happiness) will see Prince Charming and Beautiful Swan live happily ever after, while Evil Git and Evil Barbie will be punished for their evil deeds and the group of Pointless Sidekicks to Make the Show Run Longer will get satisfaction for their wrongs and smaller punishments for their bad deeds.
Well, it takes only a few paragraphs. Surprising they make not only one but several shows out of it.
