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dream_labyrinthI have been in a crappy mood all day today. Got up around six, because I had a dentist's appointment early in the morning and wanted to get some breakfast before going to town. Also, I wanted to buy some stuff, so decided not to go home with my Dad after the appointment but went into town. Which was silly, because it was almost another hour until the shops opened.
I got some stuff, but still need a haircut. Probably will do that during the week.
Anyway, last rehearsal for the concert was okay. When I left the church, it rained cats and dogs, so I decided to take the tram to the outskirts of the town and then check whether there was a bus home. Didn't buy a tram ticket, but nobody checked. *phew*
There was a bus, but I would have waited 20 minutes for it. I walk the distance in half an hour, and as the rain had stopped and it was freezing cold and my feet were wet (sneakers aren't really great to walk in the rain) I decided to walk. At least moving would keep me somewhat warm.
Luckily I was picked up by a neighbour, so I didn't have to walk all the way.
We didn't have lunch and I didn't feel like eating anything anyway. I checked my emails and LJ and read some fanfiction, which was nice. But I still felt restless somehow.
Listened to Hours, but at some point I had the urge to hit something, or break something.
Then it was time to leave for the concert. My parents decided they wanted to come and listen. But they didn't want to drive in with me, as I had to be there 45 minutes earlier. Whatever. At least I could listen to music in the car as loud as I wanted.
The children were surprisingly well-behaved.
We sang the Mauersberger first. It went really well. But the Frank Martin oratory sucked. The choir was off several times, and one of the soloists screwed up at one point. I don't think the audience could really tell, because it is a modern piece of music and those tend to sound a little weird at times. But we know we didn't do well.
And my Dad apparently complained all the time. About the pews and the choir and whatnot, and he kept saying that our choir director has taken on more than he can handle. Which isn't true. We could have done better, but it wasn't all his fault. He was distracted by something, he kept looking at some corner. (I suppose there were kids running around. Sorry, but I will never understand why people take their small children to a concert that is long and in a cold church and the kids can't really do anything when they get bored.) I have seen in previous concerts that he can get very upset about kids disturbing the concert, so maybe that was what was on his mind. But the lines we missed we missed despite his directing us. I keep saying "we", but that's the problem in choir singing. The fact that I personally was right at that line doesn't make me feel better about the whole concert.
But still, if my Dad thought everything was so terrible, nobody forced him to come in the first place. It's part of his "I am interested in what my kids do" thing, and as this is an idea he got when I was 22, I don't really buy it. He didn't give a damn all those years before, why now? But I'll not go into a Dad-rant right now. Don't feel like it.
The weird thing is that I don't feel at home here anymore. So this is not my home, but I can't really call my room on the base home. And that leaves me in a strange situation in the middle of nowhere.
I am not that closely attached to people. Places are important to me. Like a cat, I would probably walk a few hundred miles to get to the plce I consider home. No matter where I am, the fact that this place exists keeps me safe. And now that feeling is gone.
What the heck, probably it's just that I'm developing a cold or something that I'm feeling depressed.
I should get some sleep. Tomorrow church at nine o'clock. For some incomprehensible reason, the regioanl TV station will be around. They're making a program about pastors in rural areas, and somebody told them to check on our pastor, so they're following him around all day tomorrow.
OMG I'm going to be on TV! What will I wear?! How does one make a sarcastic smiley?
Whatever. I just suck today.
And for the record, I think Paris Hilton has an ugly face. That nose...!
P.S.: In case you want to listen to the stuff we sang, check amazon. I found Mauersberger's Wie liegt die Stadt so wüst on this CD but my computer wouldn't let me listen to it. The other piece was In terra pax by Frank Martin. I found the original French version here, but we used the German translation.
I got some stuff, but still need a haircut. Probably will do that during the week.
Anyway, last rehearsal for the concert was okay. When I left the church, it rained cats and dogs, so I decided to take the tram to the outskirts of the town and then check whether there was a bus home. Didn't buy a tram ticket, but nobody checked. *phew*
There was a bus, but I would have waited 20 minutes for it. I walk the distance in half an hour, and as the rain had stopped and it was freezing cold and my feet were wet (sneakers aren't really great to walk in the rain) I decided to walk. At least moving would keep me somewhat warm.
Luckily I was picked up by a neighbour, so I didn't have to walk all the way.
We didn't have lunch and I didn't feel like eating anything anyway. I checked my emails and LJ and read some fanfiction, which was nice. But I still felt restless somehow.
Listened to Hours, but at some point I had the urge to hit something, or break something.
Then it was time to leave for the concert. My parents decided they wanted to come and listen. But they didn't want to drive in with me, as I had to be there 45 minutes earlier. Whatever. At least I could listen to music in the car as loud as I wanted.
The children were surprisingly well-behaved.
We sang the Mauersberger first. It went really well. But the Frank Martin oratory sucked. The choir was off several times, and one of the soloists screwed up at one point. I don't think the audience could really tell, because it is a modern piece of music and those tend to sound a little weird at times. But we know we didn't do well.
And my Dad apparently complained all the time. About the pews and the choir and whatnot, and he kept saying that our choir director has taken on more than he can handle. Which isn't true. We could have done better, but it wasn't all his fault. He was distracted by something, he kept looking at some corner. (I suppose there were kids running around. Sorry, but I will never understand why people take their small children to a concert that is long and in a cold church and the kids can't really do anything when they get bored.) I have seen in previous concerts that he can get very upset about kids disturbing the concert, so maybe that was what was on his mind. But the lines we missed we missed despite his directing us. I keep saying "we", but that's the problem in choir singing. The fact that I personally was right at that line doesn't make me feel better about the whole concert.
But still, if my Dad thought everything was so terrible, nobody forced him to come in the first place. It's part of his "I am interested in what my kids do" thing, and as this is an idea he got when I was 22, I don't really buy it. He didn't give a damn all those years before, why now? But I'll not go into a Dad-rant right now. Don't feel like it.
The weird thing is that I don't feel at home here anymore. So this is not my home, but I can't really call my room on the base home. And that leaves me in a strange situation in the middle of nowhere.
I am not that closely attached to people. Places are important to me. Like a cat, I would probably walk a few hundred miles to get to the plce I consider home. No matter where I am, the fact that this place exists keeps me safe. And now that feeling is gone.
What the heck, probably it's just that I'm developing a cold or something that I'm feeling depressed.
I should get some sleep. Tomorrow church at nine o'clock. For some incomprehensible reason, the regioanl TV station will be around. They're making a program about pastors in rural areas, and somebody told them to check on our pastor, so they're following him around all day tomorrow.
OMG I'm going to be on TV! What will I wear?! How does one make a sarcastic smiley?
Whatever. I just suck today.
And for the record, I think Paris Hilton has an ugly face. That nose...!
P.S.: In case you want to listen to the stuff we sang, check amazon. I found Mauersberger's Wie liegt die Stadt so wüst on this CD but my computer wouldn't let me listen to it. The other piece was In terra pax by Frank Martin. I found the original French version here, but we used the German translation.
