The dangers of breaking out of self-induced solitude

I have been on the computer all day today, pretty much. I did leave my room for breakfast and lunch, and to help my Mom buy a bag of dog food. She has back problems and shouldn't carry the large bags. But apart from that, I've been here. I managed to control myself and not go online until something like two o'clock or so. Then I read through several LJ posts. I'm trying my best not only to read the posts but also the comments, but this is hard sometimes. At some point, I usually give up on theferrett's comments pages. There are just too many people posting there.
Now what did I do all the rest of the time?
I wrote. That's right, getting another fan fic story going. I started it only for myself, and to make that clear I named the main character Mary Sue. But it looks pretty good, actually, so I might post it on FF.net if I ever finish it.
I feel very little motivation to do anything. That doesn't make much sense. Having all my time for myself, I should be able to do many things I always wanted to do but never got around to doing. (angharad, see that I learned?) But instead, I read books I've read millions of times before. Some of them I know almost by heart. I keep moving the letters of application around on my desk, giving the impression that I'm doing something. Where have all my good intentions gone?
I have the plan to come out of my seclusion and have a little fun. I'm 22, I should start going out. I have my own car, so I can go wherever I want, stay as long as I want. I still live with my parents, but my room is far enough away from theirs so I won't bother them no matter what time I come home.
I have the perfect conditions to go out and party. Except for the fact that
a) I wouldn't know where to go and
b) Going alone isn't that much fun.
If you are alone, then you can't even bitch about the other girls if nobody's interested in you.
I should just face it. I am so afraid of maybe making a fool of myself out there that I'd rather stay here. If I'm lonely and sit in my room all day, at least I know why I'm lonely. If I go out, I might end up realizing that it's just me. I could blame my classmates who made fun of me and teased me up to the point of mobbing. Maybe it was their behavior towards me that made me so unsure of myself. But there are many other people who support me and help me. Well, the last time I let somebody get to become a real, close, friend, she ended up telling me that she had more important things to do then spending time with me. It took me four years to get over that. With all these experiences in the background, it's most likely that I am the problem, not all the other people. It is just so much easier to blame them than trying to change the way I am.
I'll have to go out there or I will never find out. This will be this year's good intention. We have August, so I still have four and a half months to do it.